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ranchandcoast.com 72 JANUARY 2025 RANCH & COAST MAGAZINE Our spa-tacular adventure started soon after our arrival at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. My initial plan was to rank the spas, but you know which treatment is the best? e last one you had. Suffice it to say, we had four exceptional visits. ough, there were two sad twists at every spa: 1. e point when your masseuse tells you to turn over (signifying it's half over). 2. e moment you're fully intoxicated by expert human kneading, your soul is entering Nirvana, and you hear those final words, "I'll be waiting outside the door with some water." We paired a meal with all the treatments. e pampering began at the Spanish-inspired Royal Palms Resort & Spa (Alvadora Spa), where I enjoyed a firm Royal Massage while Jules went for the Desert Sage Salt Massage with Himalayan pink salt stones that are promised to alkalize your skin. For lunch, we savored Mediterranean-inspired salads at the elegant T. Cook's. At the JW Marriott Scottsdale Camelback Inn Resort & Spa, the wellness facility has 30 treatment rooms. My Swedish Massage further released muscle tension. Jules had an Aromatherapy Massage. For lunch at the lovely Rita's Cantina & Bar, we started with margaritas, had delish entrees, and ended with a huge, collar-shaped churro that could fit around a horse's neck, accompanied by chocolate dipping sauce. (Tip: A masseuse advised us to eat after a treatment, but never come into a spa so hungry you're only thinking about your next meal.) My masseuse at Valley Ho's VH Spa was the strongest woman I've ever shaken hands with. During a Deep Tissue Massage, I had to do the masculine unthinkable and ask for less pressure. She abided, and when it was over I genuinely felt like a new man. Jules underwent a Rock n Roll Massage. No, not with rock music, rather, aided by hot basalt stones and warmed birchwood sticks. On the subject of spa music, I noted how the background ambiance came in all forms — from pan flute to piano chords to Native American chants. A super lunch preceded treatments at e Phoenician luxury resort: flatbread pizza at the gorgeous and airy Mowry & Cotton. en it was on to the enormous, stand-alone, three- story Phoenician Spa. e edifice is a five-star monument to well-being. My Artisan Massage was over too quickly. Jules got a Personal Remedy Facial, with customized exfoliation and a brushed-on cooling masque. At the Phoenician Spa, I asked and was informed it takes 1,000 hours of training to become a masseuse. After four hours over four days of wonderful massage treatments, I reached a conclusion: I'm ready to be a regular spa guy. And, willing to donate my body for 996 more hours to any future Scottsdale spa therapists-to-be. detour destinations TOP Veggie-forward offerings at FnB ABOVE Royal Palms Resort & Spa <<